This post is dedicated to the general feeling of loss and despair, not only as it relates to death, but to other events as well. I wanted to post about this since, through the research I've done to this point plus living through a few traumatic events in my 46 years, I wanted to share what I've found in order to assist in healing.
Helpguide.org - 'Coping with Grief and Loss - Support for Grieving and Bereavement'
This site has an abundance of information for all types of grief and loss. A great "one stop" resource for many issues related to this subject matter.
Pet Loss Support Page - 'Washington Pet Loss Resources'
This site/page lists a vast amount of links to support groups and resources that are available in Washngton State for the grief encountered when your pet passes.
Associated Content - 'How to Help a Friend Who Loses a Loved One During the Christmas Season'
Losing a loved one is always terribly difficult, but when that happens during the holiday season, extra chores and activities of the Christmas season and the prospect of the holidays can seem downright overwhelming. This article will offer some suggestions on how to help a friend get through the holiday season while still in mourning for their lost loved one.
PatriotOutreach - 'Warning Signs, Triggers, and Coping Strategies for Iraqi War Veterans'
The information listed in this site relates specifically to the emotional impact of wartime loss and grief. It lists triggers and possible results from the traumatic memories related to being in a combat environment.
NY Times - 'Emotional Effects Of Natural Disasters'
A NY Times article related to grief surrounding natural disaster.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Grief after a divorce..
Being a divorced man, I feel it's important to understand how to cope with this type of loss. My marriage failed six years ago. The feeling of loss and guilt stays with me, even though much time has passed. Through the support of friends and family, it has become much easier to manage. Days, weeks or even months go by without feeling the grief I did right after the divorce happened.
A few links I've discovered:
Livestrong - 'How to Overcome Grief After a Bitter Divorce'
Key points:
Set priorities carefully and limit extra sources of stress and to establish a new identity outside of the marriage.
Articlebase - 'How to Handle Grief after Divorce'
Key points:
The way to divorce recovery is by first acknowledging your feelings about it. You have to be completely and totally honest with yourself in order to move past the hurt and pain. Everything you are feeling is valid and you can live a happy and successful life after divorce. Always remember that you are not alone. There are others that have been through what you're going through right now, as well as those who are going through the grief process at the same time as you. Joining a divorce support group will put you in connection with other people who are trying to heal after divorce just as you are.
Mend a Broken Heart - 'After Divorce - The Stages of Grief and Depression'
Key points:
It is OK to ask for help. When a divorce occurs, help is often lacking, so you may need to seek out your own support. Just remember that you probably won’t feel this way forever. Learn to be thankful for what you have. Look beyond the pain. Limit your sorrow.
Divorce Magazine - 'Divorce Recovery Article'
This is an interview with Russell Friedman, executive director of The Grief Recovery Institute and co-author of The Grief Recovery Handbook. The interview is about understanding that death and divorce are two of the primary grief or loss issues.
Innerself - 'Men and Divorce'
Key points:
If a man has been successful solving problems in his job but can't control his marriage, he's thrown by it. Grief is not madness, but ex-husbands often endure it as a shameful secret. Grief is so mistaken as a sign of weakness that men have aborted mourning by expressing anger and hostility, emotions natural to separation and divorce, but more "acceptable" for men to vent than sorrow.
A few links I've discovered:
Livestrong - 'How to Overcome Grief After a Bitter Divorce'
Key points:
Set priorities carefully and limit extra sources of stress and to establish a new identity outside of the marriage.
Articlebase - 'How to Handle Grief after Divorce'
Key points:
The way to divorce recovery is by first acknowledging your feelings about it. You have to be completely and totally honest with yourself in order to move past the hurt and pain. Everything you are feeling is valid and you can live a happy and successful life after divorce. Always remember that you are not alone. There are others that have been through what you're going through right now, as well as those who are going through the grief process at the same time as you. Joining a divorce support group will put you in connection with other people who are trying to heal after divorce just as you are.
Mend a Broken Heart - 'After Divorce - The Stages of Grief and Depression'
Key points:
It is OK to ask for help. When a divorce occurs, help is often lacking, so you may need to seek out your own support. Just remember that you probably won’t feel this way forever. Learn to be thankful for what you have. Look beyond the pain. Limit your sorrow.
Divorce Magazine - 'Divorce Recovery Article'
This is an interview with Russell Friedman, executive director of The Grief Recovery Institute and co-author of The Grief Recovery Handbook. The interview is about understanding that death and divorce are two of the primary grief or loss issues.
Innerself - 'Men and Divorce'
Key points:
If a man has been successful solving problems in his job but can't control his marriage, he's thrown by it. Grief is not madness, but ex-husbands often endure it as a shameful secret. Grief is so mistaken as a sign of weakness that men have aborted mourning by expressing anger and hostility, emotions natural to separation and divorce, but more "acceptable" for men to vent than sorrow.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Employees Survivors Guilt...
The main purpose of this Blog is to put my feelings and thoughts "on paper" regarding grief and to share what I've discovered in understanding this emotion using a technological resource, (the internet). With the increased state of unemployment and the current depressed economic climate, I want to share a few resources I've found regarding a seldom considered emotion as it relates to an employee, 'survivors guilt'. With lay-offs, or in corporate speak, "a reduction in force", a company may provide the employee being let go coping resources. What rarely occurs is for a company to provide these same resources to the employees that remain. A 'survivors guilt' for these employees may be ever so slight, but is just as important to manage. Now, I'm in no way saying that this type of 'survivors guilt' is as hard hit as the guilt one feels when they survive a for more traumatic event such as an accident or natural disaster, but it is still important to acknowledge.
Please see these links regarding Survivor's Guilt:
Time Magazine article - 'After Layoffs, There's Survivor's Guilt'
This article covers a few key points. I find the fact that research shows that there's a reduced commitment and diminished productivity — even when people are expending more effort — can linger for the better part of a year after a layoff takes place
CNN article - 'Dealing with layoff survivor's guilt'
Key point - The remaining employees are often expected to 'do more with less' and move forward, but that's hard to do when they feel depressed, numb and guilty about having made it through the chaos -- classic symptoms of survivor's guilt.
BNET artical - 'Feeling guilty because you survived a layoff? … You're not alone'
Key point - People who are good survivors have a support system. If that support system doesn't happen at work, it doubles the stress outside work. It recommends that employees create their own support systems that could include family and friends, as well as professional, fraternal and religious organizations.
Please see these links regarding Survivor's Guilt:
Time Magazine article - 'After Layoffs, There's Survivor's Guilt'
This article covers a few key points. I find the fact that research shows that there's a reduced commitment and diminished productivity — even when people are expending more effort — can linger for the better part of a year after a layoff takes place
CNN article - 'Dealing with layoff survivor's guilt'
Key point - The remaining employees are often expected to 'do more with less' and move forward, but that's hard to do when they feel depressed, numb and guilty about having made it through the chaos -- classic symptoms of survivor's guilt.
BNET artical - 'Feeling guilty because you survived a layoff? … You're not alone'
Key point - People who are good survivors have a support system. If that support system doesn't happen at work, it doubles the stress outside work. It recommends that employees create their own support systems that could include family and friends, as well as professional, fraternal and religious organizations.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Dealing...
This post will deal primarily with grief regarding death. I've reviewed a multitude of sites and while most seem to be helpful, they were very clinical in their structure. I'm going to post 5 links that "spoke" to me the most.
WebMD - 'On the Death of My Father'
While still clinical in structure, I find WebMD to be very reliable and accurate
ArtofManliness - 'Losing Dad: How a Man Responds to the Death of His Father'
The section, 'A Long Shadow', struck a nerve.
Survivors of Suicide - 'Helping a Survivor Heal'
How a friend or family member can help. I have personally experienced the support from my loved ones and find the information here true and accurate.
The Golden Gate - 'A Poem'
This poem and the link it is in has a personal meaning to me. It reminds me of forgotten memories.
Grief and Bereavement Resources - 'Resources'
I didn't post a specific link at this site since there are quite a few I find interesting. The 'Resources for Families and Specific Support Groups' section is most relevant.for Families and Specific Support Groups:
WebMD - 'On the Death of My Father'
While still clinical in structure, I find WebMD to be very reliable and accurate
ArtofManliness - 'Losing Dad: How a Man Responds to the Death of His Father'
The section, 'A Long Shadow', struck a nerve.
Survivors of Suicide - 'Helping a Survivor Heal'
How a friend or family member can help. I have personally experienced the support from my loved ones and find the information here true and accurate.
The Golden Gate - 'A Poem'
This poem and the link it is in has a personal meaning to me. It reminds me of forgotten memories.
Grief and Bereavement Resources - 'Resources'
I didn't post a specific link at this site since there are quite a few I find interesting. The 'Resources for Families and Specific Support Groups' section is most relevant.for Families and Specific Support Groups:
Sunday, November 28, 2010
It was 1985....
My personal experiences with grief has, as I've discovered, impacted my life in more ways then I ever considered. The loss of my father in 1985 appears to be my most significant loss to date. It was a 'Sudden Loss', which, as I've discovered per the website CaringInfo.org, has affected me far more then I understood, or at least acknowledged. "Sudden, unexpected loss may exceed the coping abilities of a person, which often results in feelings of being overwhelmed and/or unable to function. Even though one may be able to acknowledge that loss has occurred, the full impact of loss may take much longer to fully comprehend than in the case of an expected loss." While the initial loss was overwhelming for sure, I never thought it would have such a long lasting affect on my life and the choices I've made, (and make?).
Saturday, November 27, 2010
My first link and review
We will all deal with grief in our life. Some more then others. Fate deals us many different hands, it's how we deal and cope with the not so pleasant situations that I am very interested in. My first link regarding 'Understanding Grief' is to the website GriefNet.org
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